So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
