the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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