Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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