What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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