u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
