They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
