loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
