he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
