there's paper in my vomit.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will be naked everywhere
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
