i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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