i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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