Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (142) Good night (2474) Bad night (2201)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.

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  (304): I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up. http://tfl.nu/ory7
  Replies (46) Good night (4045) Bad night (1610)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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  (231): Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk. http://tfl.nu/0k6c
  Replies (5) Good night (4637) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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  (802): my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night... http://tfl.nu/tx5p
  Replies (14) Good night (5754) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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  (804): just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it. http://tfl.nu/xnwu
  Replies (10) Good night (1108) Bad night (4498)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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  (608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3
  Replies (17) Good night (9676) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.

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  (905): I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/5c1o
  Replies (21) Good night (1195) Bad night (4198)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.

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  (641): Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like. http://tfl.nu/m82g
  Replies (6) Good night (2806) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1007) Bad night (4527)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....

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  (919): Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends.... http://tfl.nu/5sph
  Replies (7) Good night (2045) Bad night (2298)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?

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  (630): Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding? http://tfl.nu/gie6
  Replies (15) Good night (1769) Bad night (2474)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.

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  (517): In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast. http://tfl.nu/cv6o
  Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.

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  (207): I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose. http://tfl.nu/mchv
  Replies (5) Good night (1446) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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  (516): so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry http://tfl.nu/npqz
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Is 1:30 too early for the bar?

  (718): View more from New York

  Do you want my opinion or society's?

  (646): View more from New York

  I want your company

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  (646): Is 1:30 too early for the bar? (718): Do you want my opinion or society's? (646): I want your company http://tfl.nu/br9a
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (293)

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