i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM