He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
