I'm really into asian looking animals
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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