Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.