The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices