if you like me you must not know who I am
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect