I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
