I wish you could order shots online.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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