You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
