I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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