Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
