worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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