I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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