i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
