He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
