They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
