Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
