This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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