You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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