Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
