Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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