the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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