I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
