So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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