Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
