in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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