I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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