that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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