everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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