Me too!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
