i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize