I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
