My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize