Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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