i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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