get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
