it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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