If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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