Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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