My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize