i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
