I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize