You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
