I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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