i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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