You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
