you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
