i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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