Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize