Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
