How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So squirting runs in the family.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
