I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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