i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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