You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
