DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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